Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Colonol Dekker on July 07, 2011, 09:58:04 am
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There is none.
This is good.
Discuss.
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You missed the Ursa erotic fiction :lol:
Everyone knew that I wanted the act of love, to sweat and push and pull and in and out and EJECT
HIT YOUR BURNERS
DIVE
and then
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So the rule is falsified?
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There is some.
And even if there wasn't any, there's still Rule 35 (someone will make some).
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This is FreeSpace discussion.
The glorious might of the GTVA taking he shivans from behind!
(http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/92/gigantic.jpg)
As close as I can think of....
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:blah:
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Actually, there was one.
I remember specifically trying to find one with a bunch of people, and we found a Shivan butt****ing an Elite from Halo or something.
I don't know why we did it, but hey, the rule holds.
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I remember specifically trying to find one with a bunch of people, and we found a Shivan butt****ing an Elite from Halo or something.
Well isn't that just the most beautiful mental image in the world.
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(http://images.starcraftmazter.net/4chan/for_forums/do_not_want2.jpg)
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You must have seen the thread title before clicking. :P
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DONT LIKE DONT READ R&R PLEASE
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DONT LIKE DONT READ R&R PLEASE
Aren't prepared to handle negative commentary, don't post on a public space.
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Actually, there was one.
I remember specifically trying to find one with a bunch of people, and we found a Shivan butt****ing an Elite from Halo or something.
I don't know why we did it, but hey, the rule holds.
Wort Wort Wort
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Check out those pheropods, boys
Check out those torpedoes, fellas
I almost didn't want to enter this thread, but remembered that real pr0n gets banned around here.
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But not erotic fiction
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But not erotic fiction
orly?
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This topic is yet full of win :yes:
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But not erotic fiction
orly?
Or'ly!? I 'ardly know 'er!
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But not erotic fiction
o rly (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php?topic=50663.0)
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Damn, I'd forgotten about that.
Oh well, it relieves me from rewriting Bubblegum Pink's first half into FS.
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... what do I see there? :wtf:
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What has been seen, cannot be unseen.
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I think that is what we found last time.
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my last post was the best post I have ever made on hlp
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my last post was the best post I have ever made on hlp
Agreed.
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My brain craves a strong bleaching now.
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(http://i.imgur.com/svhiG.jpg)
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(http://i.imgur.com/svhiG.jpg)
This one genuinely disturbs me.
I half expected pages of Simms / Laporté fanfic by now tbh.
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What about Misuzu x Crystal?
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I seem to recall something about nude vasudans?
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Well i've never seen one wearing Trousers in Canon.
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Is this thread seriously turning into a Rule 34 contest?
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I'll curb it if it gets OTT. :nono:
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Is this thread seriously turning into a Rule 34 contest?
The OP was actually asking for it, wasn't he?
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Courtesy of http://elffetish.com/instaslash.html. I ctrl+h'd the gender pronouns and didn't proofread very carefully, so there's no doubt something dumb in there.
True Love by Fate
It was a dark and stormy night. An unnatural haze lingered over UED Solaris. In her bed, Noemi Laporte shivered. For a summer night, the air was cold and the sky was black. It was almost as if something evil lurked out there in the shadows.
Noemi Laporte rolled over, clutching her pillow, and tried to fall back asleep. But a worry nagged in the back of her mind. Something was not right. No matter how she tried, some ghostly force prevented her from sleeping. It made her uneasy. With a sigh, she rolled out of bed, pulled on her flightsuit, and poured herself a cup of water from the pitcher on her nightstand. Quietly, she left her room.
The halls were silent as she walked in the dark. She did not know where she was going, or why, but her body seemed to move on its own accord. She was being drawn by an unseen power. Past her uncle's bedroom, past the dining hall, past the briefing room, and out onto the terrace. With the moon hidden behind thick clouds, it was nearly impossible to see in the inky black night. But something lying on the path to Noemi Laporte's right made her gasp in shock. A body!
'Sweet Fortune!' Noemi Laporte shouted. She leapt over the terrace railing and onto the ground below, running toward the fallen form as fast as she could. Tree branches scratched at her skin and pulled at her clothes, but she paid them no mind. Heart pounding, she fell to her knees on the pathway and placed a gentle hand on the figure's back.
Now that she was closer, she could see that this was a young Martian of UEFg Indus, a Captain by the looks of her, who appeared to be no more than 3.14159 years old. But she was in dire need of help. Her clothes were torn and bloody, and her hair was matted with carbon scoring MADE OF PEOPLE. She needed the attention of a healer, immediately. Without a second thought, Noemi Laporte picked up the wounded Captain and, cradling her in her arms, carried her inside to seek the help that was so desperately needed.
*****
'Her situation is severe,' Manuel Brie said in a worried voice. 'Whether or not she will live until morning is beyond my sight. My team of healers will do the best they can, but...' her voice trailed off.
Noemi Laporte could sense his fear. There was a good chance the young Martian might die. 'Is there anything I can do to help?' she asked.
Manuel Brie sadly shook his head. 'Nothing the healers are not already trying. But it might help if you just sat with her. She will need to see a friendly face when she wakes up from this ordeal, and you are the closest thing she has right now.'
'I understand,' said Noemi Laporte. 'And I will stay with her for as long as it takes. I will not let her die.'
With that, Noemi Laporte turned and hurried to the room where the wounded Captain was being housed. She was surrounded by healers, all of whom wore the same concerned expression. They had washed her body and dressed her wounds with healing salve, but still the Martian showed no signs of improvement. Her breathing was shallow, and her pulse was weak. One of the healers turned to Noemi Laporte with a defeated sigh.
'It will be an uphill battle,' she said. 'We have done all we can at this time. Now, we can only wait and see if she wakes.'
Noemi Laporte nodded resolutely. 'I will stay with her through the night and keep watch as she sleeps.'
One by one, the healers left the bedside, the last one closing the door behind her. In the flickering candle light, Noemi Laporte dipped a square of cloth in the bowl of warm water left by the healers, and gently used it to stroke the injured Martian's chest. Then, taking up the Captain's limp hand, she settled into her bedside chair and prepared to wait through the remainder of the long, cold night.
*****
'Where... where am I?'
Noemi Laporte jerked awake with a start when she heard the words being spoken. She stared down at her patient, an immense wave of relief coursing through her body. The Martian was alive! And from the looks of things, she was on her way to making a full recovery.
'You are in UED Solaris,' Noemi Laporte told her. 'I found you last night, lying unconscious and nearly dead on a path coming from the forest. I carried you inside, and my uncle's healers tended to your wounds. Please, tell me your name and how you came to be here.'
'My name is Lorna Simms,' said the Martian. 'I come from UEFg Indus. I was on an errand from my father, to deliver an important message to Admiral Steele in Delta Serpentis. But last night... All I remember is that I was riding through the forest when suddenly I was attacked by a group of Tevs. At least 4 surrounded me. I tried to escape, but there were so many, and I had only my Slammer for protection. And that is the last thing I recall. I do not know how I came to be here, or why I am not dead.'
Noemi Laporte smiled at her. 'The stars must shine favourably on you. To live through such an ordeal... that is more than mere luck.' It was more than luck, too, that Lorna Simms had wound up in UED Solaris and Noemi Laporte had found her. Now that they two were together, it felt almost like fate had lent a hand. Lorna Simms was meant to be here, and Noemi Laporte was meant to have found her. Why, Noemi Laporte did not know. But it felt so certain.
It also did not hurt that Lorna Simms was one of the most beautiful individuals Noemi Laporte had ever seen. Her sleek Mars red hair contrasted with large, dark black eyes set in a lovely face. And her sculpted body, half-hidden by the bed linens, was a further attraction. Noemi Laporte could hardly suppress her desire to run her hands over that soft hair and perfect body. But she kept her feelings under control. Lorna Simms had just barely survived a nearly fatal encounter. Now was not the time for romance.
*****
Within three days, Lorna Simms had improved enough to leave her bed. Manuel Brie gave her a new set of clothes, and she was able to wander the corridors and gardens by herself. But the one thing that troubled her was Noemi Laporte's absence. Since the morning when she'd first awoken in UED Solaris, she had not seen Noemi Laporte at all. It was as if her rescuer had simply disappeared. She had asked Manuel Brie where his neice could be, but Manuel Brie had no answer. Noemi Laporte was gone without a trace.
Lorna Simms desired to speak with Noemi Laporte again, and properly thank her for saving her life. But she also just wanted to see the handsome Earthling once more. She could not explain it, but she felt a deep connection to Noemi Laporte, either forged by the lifesaving bond or some other power. She knew that Noemi Laporte was someone special. Someone she had to see again.
It wasn't until the sixth day after Lorna Simms had recovered that Noemi Laporte returned to UED Solaris. She rode up the same path where Lorna Simms had been found, dragging a net filled with the heads of Tevs behind her. All 4 of them.
'Here are your Tevs!' she called to Lorna Simms. 'I found them hiding out in a cave not far from here.'
Lorna Simms stared in surprise, eyes going wide. 'You killed... all of them by yourself?'
'I cannot let such dangerous creatures roam free in our lands,' Noemi Laporte replied. 'And I did it for you. They nearly killed you. I do not want anything like that to happen again.'
Lorna Simms could feel her heart pounding as Noemi Laporte spoke. Noemi Laporte killed those Tevs... for her. Before she could stop himself, she leapt at Noemi Laporte and threw her arms around her neck, kissing the brave Earthling on the neck.
Noemi Laporte laughed in surprise, but did not pull away. 'What was that for?'
'Just a thank you,' Lorna Simms said. She smiled, but when she saw the suddenly serious look in Noemi Laporte's eyes, the smile faded. 'What is wrong?' she asked, worried.
'Lorna Simms,' said Noemi Laporte, 'I have to confess something to you. That first morning you were here... I thought you were so beautiful. I wanted to kiss you then, but I did not know how you would react.
Lorna Simms gasped in shock. 'Kiss... me?'
'I told myself I must not, because of the terrible ordeal you had just suffered. It was not the right time. But these past few days while I was gone, I could think only of you the entire time. And now...'
'Noemi Laporte...' Lorna Simms sighed her name. 'I thought about you too. All the time, while you were gone. I was worried I would never see you again.'
Noemi Laporte lifted her hand to gently stroke Lorna Simms on the cheek. 'I am sorry I ran off like that. I should have said something to you.'
Taking a deep breath, Lorna Simms said, 'Noemi Laporte, there is something I have been considering over the past several days. I think we were meant to find each other. What happened to me... it was no accident of fate. I was meant to come here. You were meant to rescue me.'
A bright smile broke across Noemi Laporte's face as soon as Lorna Simms had spoken. 'You know,' she said, 'I had been thinking the same thing! That night when I found you I had been worried an unable to think. Some strange power led me out to the terrace, and that was when I saw you.'
Lorna Simms took Noemi Laporte's hand. 'So you think... we are meant to be together?'
'I have no doubt of it.' Slowly, Noemi Laporte leaned in and kissed Lorna Simms softly on the lips. 'I love you,' she whispered.
'I love you too, Noemi Laporte,' Lorna Simms whispered in return.
THE END!
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*snip*
:shaking:
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i like pictures
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And now we know how to find Janos. Just as posting Derek Smart's name summons our favorite FS3 developer, posting a Rule 34 thread summons our favorite weird sheep.
In other news, sigtau gets a week off for turning the allusion into the explicit. Really, you guys need to keep in mind the use/mention distinction.
By the way, I thought Rule 34 was already in full force for FreeSpace, just as Kolgena says, thanks to Cindy McLaren and Miss Vasuda Prime 2332.
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You gave him a week off for that? It was so low-res that I could barely tell what was going on in it. :p
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Yeah, it looked like a blue/purple mass to me. Could've been an Eva crossed witha quad bike in my opinion.
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That was about as explicit as an episode of Sesame Street.
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I'd hate to see what Sesame Street you're watching.
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I'd hate to see what Sesame Street you're watching.
Divorce episode.
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That was about as explicit as an episode of Sesame Street.
I'm pretty sure that you're not going to see phallic penetration on an episode of Sesame Street.
Then again, wasn't.... Oh, no. :shaking:
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my eyeeeeeeees
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(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/2647/advicedogchq.jpg)
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good old Gen Disc
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So sigtau gets a week off and all we got was a lousy thread filled with the exact same sexpic?
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Has anybody posted that picture of a Shivan violating a Vasudan yet?
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Okay, now I think I see what's going on, but it took that blown-up image to tell what the hell was what. :p
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Has anybody posted that picture of a Shivan violating a Vasudan yet?
Wat the frak
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Has anybody posted that picture of a Shivan violating a Vasudan yet?
Hawt
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(http://staff.hard-light.net/goober5000/images/picard-facepalm.jpg)
Guys, you really ought to know better -- especially Fury! He gets a month's ban for being a former admin who should be leading by example, not leading negatively by example. :wtf: Hades also gets a week off for essentially duplicating sigtau's post, and Snail gets two weeks for using lvlshot.
Allow me to remind you guys of the registration agreement to this very forum:
You agree, through your use of this forum, that you will not post any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, adult material, or otherwise in violation of any International or United States Federal law.
And in case you joined before that agreement went into effect, there's also the Guidelines for Forum Conduct (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php?topic=37583.0) which applies to everybody:
HLP will not tolerate the posting of pornography or warez files anywhere on the site. However the discussion of a pornography or warez related topic is still allowed. The difference being that the former contains content or links to said content - the latter does not. If you're unsure about what you want to post and are worried may breach this rule then please contact a staff member for advice first. Ignorance of this rule does not mitigate breaking it.
It's spelled out in black-and-white in the Announcements forum. It was also demonstrated in the temp-ban of sigtau before three of you decided to be jackasses about it. Rules are rules.
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Does this mean we wont get to see the vasudan shivan love affair in pictures?
/runs away before Goober's laserbeam reaches
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Discussion is allowed (within reason), and whatever you want to do on other forums or via email or instant messaging is your own business.
As described in the Forum Conduct policy, discussion of pornography and discussion of warez are treated pretty much the same way.
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As described in the Forum Conduct policy, discussion of pornography and discussion of warez are treated pretty much the same way.
Considering discussion of warez has been considered bannable before, you do not fill me with confidence.
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As I understand it, suggesting someone pirate something is a timed ban, posting a link is a permaban. Simply discussing the repurcussions etc, however, is not a problem so long as those two requirements are met.
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I actually found a higher rez version of the image in question. :shaking:
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This has turned into quite a bloody thread.
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damned how are we supposed to speak about pron fanfics without even consulting them?
I understand the rules, but come on it's such a tease! :lol:
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Well, I already named one that's actually existent is more or less the Great Old One of the genre, and I'm not banned.
...what? You thought I just made up a name?
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I'm completely uninterested in sesame street. Sorry :).
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<achtung> I wonder if the psamtik is modeled after vasudan genitalia.
<achtung> Just a thought.
<sigtau> I dare someone
<JeffVader> hmm
<sigtau> to put that quote
<sigtau> in the rule 34 thread
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So uh... three people posted the same pic and got banned for it??? And each post got deleted?
I never saw the post that got deleted, so this has been quite hilarious to try to make sense of.
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Four, actually. First one person got banned, then three people responded by posting exactly the same picture. It's a blurry and low-res picture of a Shivan rear-ending a Vasudan.
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I'm completely uninterested in sesame street. Sorry :).
I actually named one for Bubblegum Crisis (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BubblegumCrisis), but to call it before your time is probably an understatement.
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Four, actually. First one person got banned, then three people responded by posting exactly the same picture. It's a blurry and low-res picture of a Shivan rear-ending a Vasudan.
I thought it was a Shivan rear-ending an Elite guy from Halo.
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Four, actually. First one person got banned, then three people responded by posting exactly the same picture. It's a blurry and low-res picture of a Shivan rear-ending a Vasudan.
I thought it was a Shivan rear-ending an Elite guy from Halo.
I think whatever was on the receiving end is less important than the fact that you can see shivan genitalia. :sigh:
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Four, actually. First one person got banned, then three people responded by posting exactly the same picture. It's a blurry and low-res picture of a Shivan rear-ending a Vasudan.
I thought it was a Shivan rear-ending an Elite guy from Halo.
Might well be. It's not like its particularly easy to tell what's going on in that picture.
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No attempts at Crystal X Misuzu?
I am disappoint.
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No attempts at Crystal X Misuzu?
Don't tempt me. I'm not intoxicated enough.
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Hey, I already heeded the call for Laporte x Simms. Somebody else can take care of this one.
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No attempts at Crystal X Misuzu?
Don't tempt me. I'm not intoxicated enough.
/me buys NGTM-1R a six-pack of beer.
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/me buys NGTM-1R a six-pack of beer.
Did I mention I'm never going to be, since I don't drink?
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Four, actually. First one person got banned, then three people responded by posting exactly the same picture. It's a blurry and low-res picture of a Shivan rear-ending a Vasudan.
I thought it was a Shivan rear-ending an Elite guy from Halo.
I think whatever was on the receiving end is less important than the fact that you can see shivan genitalia. :sigh:
As if it'd look anything like that. :P
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Your mind cannot grasp the Shivan genitalia's true form!
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Four, actually. First one person got banned, then three people responded by posting exactly the same picture. It's a blurry and low-res picture of a Shivan rear-ending a Vasudan.
I thought it was a Shivan rear-ending an Elite guy from Halo.
I think whatever was on the receiving end is less important than the fact that you can see shivan genitalia. :sigh:
Well that was the kicker...at the original resolution, I couldn't even tell that there was Shivan wang in there. It was this mess of two indistinct forms kind of smooshed together. :p
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Honestly though, this goes to prove my thesis that people are terribly unoriginal when it comes to drawing dicks belonging to different species. Given the wide variety of shapes and lengths in reality, it's almost, but not quite, amusing.
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Yeah, put a random Inferno shivan destroyer/carrier in place for the woody
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No attempts at Crystal X Misuzu?
I am disappoint.
You'd better hope Cyrvans don't read Terran internet forums... ;)
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Since Cyrvans are not real, I has no fear!
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Your mind cannot grasp the Shivan genitalia's true form!
What, nobody's going to say anything about the awesomeness of the reference being put out? :P
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I'm not going to praise any NGTM-1R's posts, sorry. And no, earthbound's reference isn't that geeky (I think).
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What, nobody's going to say anything about the awesomeness of the reference being put out? :P
It's not that good a reference.