[aldo_14]

...

I'm guessin' this be one
http://www.theimpress thyself.co.uk/2005/04/01/bush_twins_volunteer/

[q]First daughters Jenna an' Barbara Bush will be assigned t'a high-tech unit in Iraq, th'Air Force Human Resources Command has confirmed. Havin' finished basic trainin' at th'Officer Trainin' School (OTS) at Maxwell Air Force Base in Alabama, they are scheduled t'receive advanced trainin' in telecommunications at th'School o' Information Technology before deployment overseas with th'USAF Information Operations Squadron. For security reasons, th'exact dates have been withheld.
[/q]



EDIT; alright....who swapped 'r e g i s t e r' with 'impress thyself' in th'filter?

[Black Wolf]

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002227133_pope01.html

He's gonna be up out of bed any minute now.

"GOTCHA!"

[redmenace]

In unrelated news, Derek smart has attained the rights for Freespace 3

[aldo_14]

Requirements for Morality Sections in Routin' Area Drafts (Network workin' Group)
ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/rfc4041.txt
[q]Abstract

   It has often been th'case that morality has not been given proper
   consideration in th'design an' specification o' protocols produced
   within th'Routin' Area.  This has led t'a decline in th'moral
   values within th'Internet an' attempts t'retrofit a suitable moral
   code t'implemented an' deployed protocols has been shown t'be
   sub-optimal.

   This document specifies a requirement for all new Routin' Area
   Internet-Drafts t'include a "Morality Considerations" section, and
   gives guidance on what that section should contain.[/q]

Bush Cancels Space Shuttle Program
http://www.spacedaily.com/news/rocketscience-05o.html
[q]US President George W Bush declared today that he had signed a rare presidential decree cancelin' any further expenditure o' Federal funds on th'US Space Shuttle program.

"We cannot find any justification t'continue deficit fundin' o' a program that has nay application other that provin' that with enough money America can do anything," said Bush.

"The whole world knows that already, so why keep spendin' money on it," he added.[/q]


Virgin t'Launch BBQ-scented credit card
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,12715044%255E28957,00.html
(looks like th'story was edited out when someone checked th'date.....)

EDIT;
Google launches soft drink
http://www.google.co.uk/googlegulp/index.html
[q]Think fruity. Think refreshing.

Think a DNA scanner embedded in th'lip o' yer bottle readin' all 3 gigabytes o' yer base pair genetic data in a fraction o' a second, fine-tunin' yer individual hormonal cocktail in real time usin' our patented Auto-Drink™ technology, an' slammin' a truckload o' electrolytic neurotransmitter smart-drug stimulants past th'blood-brain barrier t'achieve maximum optimization o' yer soon-to-be-grateful cerebral cortex. Plus, it's low in carbs! And with flavors rangin' from Beta Carroty t'Glutamate Grape, you'll never run out o' ways t'quench yer thirst for knowledge.[/q]

BMW create steering wheel-less car
http://www.uninventthewheel.co.uk/utw/index.htm

[Clave]

@ BMW UK

[Axem]

Google also launches their Infinity + 1 storage plan.

http://www.techtree.com/techtree/jsp/showstory.jsp?storyid=66784&s=ln

[Fineus]

Loving the Google Gulp and the BMW UK

[aldo_14]

iKEA

http://www.reg ister.co.uk/2005/04/01/steve_jobs_joins_ikea/

EDIt; ****in' filter. Next time, someone belay it actin' on URLs, eh?

[q]KEA's flatpack days may soon be a distant memory, as Apple an' Pixar founder Steve Jobs turns t'his latest challenge. Inter IKEA Systems BV will employ Jobs as "actin' CEO", from next month. The technology icon will maintain his twin CEO roles at Apple Computer Inc. an' Pixar Inc. but will also take command with a wide-rangin' brief at th'retail giant. For th'technology guru, it's just another job, but for th'Swedish furnishin' franchise, it's a massive gamble. IKEA had a turnover o' €13 billion last year, an' has o'er 200 stores worldwide.

For Jobs, what has nay furniture at all in his Palo Alto house, it's an opportunity t'reinvent an industry once again. Exclusive mock-ups o' his first designs have been obtained by The Register.

Apple fans won't be disappointed. Jobs has convinced th'Apple board t'second th'computer company's award-winnin' design team t'work for IKEA, an' in a unique licensin' agreement, th'results will bear th'Apple logo.[/q]

EDIt; no.3 from the register
(Cisco buys Nabisco)
http://www.the register.co.uk/2005/04/01/cisco_buys_nabisco/
[q]Gerstner moved to counter the skeptics by pointing to "obvious synergies," noting, for example, that system administrators were a demographic with a propensity to consume large amounts of fatty and salty instant snacks.

"Routers and Animal Crackers go together like cookies and milk," he joked. "Seriously though, we do envision a day where every Linksys wireless router ships with a carton of Nilla Wafers and vice versa. You need a Fibre Channel switch? Fine. Here's a crate of Wheat Thins for your IT department too."[/q]

[Setekh]

Originally posted by Axem
Google also launches their Infinity + 1 storage plan.

http://www.techtree.com/techtree/jsp/showstory.jsp?storyid=66784&s=ln

Love that one.

[Nuclear1]

Originally posted by redmenace
In unrelated news, Derek smart has attained th'rights for Freespace 3

That's not funny.

[aldo_14]

Museum of Hoaxes list;
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/permalink/april_fools_2005/

[vyper]

http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/news/article/10349.html

[redmenace]

http://www.tomshardware.com/column/20050401/index.html

[Rictor]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4399667.stm

Mr Wolfowitz, 61, what will take o'er at th'World Bank from 1 June, denied that he would use his position t'push broader US foreign policy objectives such as spreadin' neoliberalism an' free markets.

"The fact be that when it comes t'poverty reduction, it be not a question o' American foreign policy, or British foreign policy or South African foreign policy. It [poverty reduction] be a unifyin' goal an' it be one that I believe in deeply."

"Each organisation has t'focus on its primary mission an' its core competencies an' th'World Bank's are in th'areas o' poverty reduction."

[Ghost]

Originally posted by nuclear1


That's not funny.

Yes it is.

[Charismatic]

No.. no its not.

[Ghost]

Yes, it is. It's funny because we know it's not true and it'll never happen.

What wouldn't be funny is if he came on here today and posted that he bought them.