[Shrike]

Mmmph.....You....you..... *Tesna couldn't choke out the words, she was laughing so hard*

Yep, effectorized all the weapons.  I don't know why they say the shields are down though.  I guess they're just not used to Culture combat shields.  Making I should make them more visible.  *All but one of the ships vanish, only to be replaced by a silvery ovoid.*

Hey, there's a couple other ships just appearing.  Let's go pester them some.  *The GOU smoothly accelerated, leaving the two ships behind.  As an afterthought, one of the 'Cannon's effectors reactivated the weapons.*

[This message has been edited by Shrike (edited 06-10-2001).]

[Setekh]

Aboard the GVA Setekh

Vasudan #15: Sir, the ships have disappeared. Only one remains, and it is moving to engage two other ships that have entered the area... the Illiad, and.. a small cruiser - I can't make out its designation, the debris field of the GTAD Thunder is blocking transmissions.

Setekh: Understood. What's going on? Our weapons are down...

Vasudan #16: Incorrect. Our weapons have been brought back online.

Setekh: Riiiight... So, what's happening?

Vasudan #17: The Apocalypse is bringing its weapons to bear again.

Setekh: What?! We had a truce! They better not be aiming at us! Open a channel to the Apocalypse, now!

Vasudan #18: Channel open. At your leisure, sir.

Setekh: Barni! What the hell do you think you are doing! Don't think you're going to win, I would inform you that I have 3 Terran Turret#Weaks tracking your current position and ready to fire..! Did you hear that? THREE WHOLE Terran Turret#Weaks!



[This message has been edited by Setekh (edited 06-10-2001).]

[Ace]

 

INFERIOR. CO-FEE. TERRAN.  

Vasudan Tactical: We are reading hostile Terran vessels attempting to breach defensive grids.

Admiral Heiksu: Activate tertiary defense grid and prepare for inter-system jump.

------------------
Ace
Staff member FreeSpace Watch
 http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/

[Styxx]

Random Lieutenant #600: We're getting a message from the AWACS... It says they have their weapons locked on!

Styxx: What? Damn! Power down all weapons! Transmit a surrender message now!

Random Lieutenant #600: Huh, say again sir?

Styxx: You heard me!

Random Lieutenant #600: Yes, sir!

* The surrender message is transmitted. *

Setekh: Ah, it's much better now. I'm glad that I don't have to vaporize you...

Styxx: Well, I think we could still have some fun, you know? [encoded transmission follows]

Setekh: Yeah, yeah, good one. Powering The Array™ now...

* Styxx whistles as the AWACS transmits a highly encoded message *

Random Lieutenant #600: Sir, we have detected a new ship in the area... and it's moving at Ludicrous Speed!!

* The Spaceballs One arrives, obviously braking for no one *

Styxx: Open a channel to that ship!

Random Lieutenant #600: Yes sir, channel open!

Styxx: Heya people! See that little GOU over there? Could you take care of it for me? Yes? Thanks!

* Styxx sits back again to watch as the ship transforms into Mega Maid™ and proceeds towards the General Offensive Unit Loose Cannon *

[This message has been edited by Styxx (edited 06-10-2001).]

[heretic]

Sir can we shoot at that big thing?


WHAT?!??

I want to shoot the big thing.

um.... I wanna live.

can I? pleeeeeaasssseee!!!


yea, just shoot that spinny thing

ok and why not that AWACS?

because I want a CHALLENGE, ensign!

[Shrike]

On, now there's some ludicrously large ship coming our way.

Really?

Yeah, nothing of interest onboard.  Amusingly enough, it's trying to suck us onboard.

You're kidding me, right?  Are they that stupid?

Evidently so.  Hold on, I'm waiting until we're inside to use the CREWS.

CREWS?  That's a bit feeble, no?

Well, I could use a nanohole, but that's no fun.  Not like they're actually a threat.

[This message has been edited by Shrike (edited 06-10-2001).]

[heretic]

Sir, that ship over there-

what about it, ensign?

they're...they're making up weapons sir.

are they allowed to do that?

not sure sir

what, do they think this is Star Trek?

not sure sir

can the hurt us?

don't know sir

well, go check the book

what book sir?

you know..the BOOK.

the what sir?

aw hell, just shoot it...

[This message has been edited by heretic (edited 06-10-2001).]

[Setekh]

On board the GVA Setekh

Vasudan #17: Sir, there's a large Vasudan ship hailing us, something about - uhhhh, 'inferior co-fee'. What's co-fee, sir?

Setekh: Errr, something stupid. Keep an eye on where that ship is going to... I have some matters to settle with it.

Vasudan #17: Yes sir - the Apocalypse has powered down weapons, and surrendered. Adjusting IFF. Errr, what of the GOU sir?

Setekh: Ignore it. Shouldn't be a problem - the Spaceballs One seems to be taking care of it.

Vasudan #18: Are you sure, sir? Culture ships can be quite dangerous, with a number of CAMS, a gridwire projector and other destructive weaponry on board, it could -

Setekh: I told you to ignore it.  

Vasudan #18: Yes, sir... Hold on, I'm reading something. The Apocalypse is moving to engage. Another ship... the, errr, GVJ Obeid is entering the area. Multiple fighter and bomber wings jumping in...

Setekh: What? Keep an eye on the situation!

[This message has been edited by Setekh (edited 06-10-2001).]

[Styxx]

Never underestimate the power of the schwartz...

* Meanwhile, on board the Apocalypse *

Random Lieutenant Commander #05: Sir, we have someone else firing at us...

Styxx: Hmm, what? And wasn't you a lieutenant a couple of posts ago?

Random Lieutenant Commander #05: Yes sir, I was, but I got promoted. And the ship ressembles a Hades class destroyer...

Styxx: Geez, I don't feel like fighting right now. Can we ask it to... hmm... stop?

* On board the Mega Maid™... *

Some guy with a very large black helmet: I'm surrounded by assholes!

* Back to the Apocalypse...

Random Lieutenant Commander #05: I guess so, sir, but I don't think it'll actually work...

Styxx: Well, try it.

* At Styxx says this, the Mega Maid™ gets blown to pieces by the Loose Cannon *

Styxx: Damn, we'll have to call in the big guys...

[This message has been edited by Styxx (edited 06-10-2001).]

[Ace]

Vasudan Tactical: We are reading a massive inversion from a object of a great mass. We are also detecting a small craft of high power output within the inversion.

Julia Talstavi: Hey, looks like the old maid back home.

Tah-Minok: It appears to wield the [insert James Moores naming system here], an ancient device which led to the inspiration of the Hatshepsut class.

Julia Talstavi: You mean a vaccuum cleaner?

Tah-Minok: No the [insert James Moores naming system here], it is much superior to your Terran devices.

Julia Talstavi: Hey, I just launched wing Delta out there, looks like those guys can't stand against the new Israfhan RFC cannons. Want some coffee?

Tah-Minok: TERRAN. CO-FEE. INFERIOR.

Julia Talstavi: *Sigh*

------------------
Ace
Staff member FreeSpace Watch
 http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/

[Setekh]

Aboard the GVA Setekh

Vasudan #21: *wakes up with a start* *bangs against wall* Hey, you guys over in the bridge! Keep it down! Trying to sleep in here!

Vasudan #22: *dashes in* Sorry, but there is a tactical combat situation developing out there. It's pretty big...

Vasudan #21: What? A situation? Who's out there? And where are my fishes?

Vasudan #22: Errr, wherever you left them. Probably in the Fish Tank™. Anyway, the ships out there... well, we sustained some minor damage overheating the Terran Turret#Weaks, but apart from us - there is High Admilar Barni's TFDx Apocalypse moving to engage the dGOU Loose Cannon, which just took apart the Spaceballs One. In addition, the GVJ Obeid seems to be entering the area with a huge fighter and bomber compliment, and heretic's Illiad is shooting at empty space.

Vasudan #21: What in the..? I have to see this...

[Shrike]

Cannon, what's Co-Fee?

A drink made from the ground up beans of a plant.  It contains caffeine, a stimulant.

Oh, so it's like Quicken?

Except a really, really watered down version.

Oh, aren't you going to tell them you've been upgunned?

Nah.

[This message has been edited by Shrike (edited 06-10-2001).]

[Ace]

Aboard the GVJ Obeid

Admiral Heiksu: We have read that the [insert James Moores naming system] has been destroyed by the small, large power output vessel.

Vasudan Tactical: Are tertiary defense grids active?

Admiral Heiksu: Affirmative, targeting Apocalypse now.

Julia Talstavi: That was a great movie!

Tah-Minok: "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning, smells like victory!"

Julia Talstavi: Want some coffee?

Tah-Minok: INFERIOR.!

------------------
Ace
Staff member FreeSpace Watch
 http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/

[Styxx]

Styxx: This is starting to get silly...

Random Lieutenant #600, former Random Lieutenant Commander #05: *grumbles* Yes sir, indeed.

Styxx: Well, I don't want to get into this anymore. That little rocket out there can pack a serious punch, you know?

Random Lieutenant #600, former Random Lieutenant Commander #05: *grumbles again*

Styxx: Okay, Lieutenant, your fired. Get the hell outa my bridge! Lieutenant!

Random lieutenant #703: Yes sir!

Styxx: Get us outta here. I want to sleep for a while.

Random lieutenant #703: Yes sir! Plotting coordinates now!

Styxx: Ah, and other thing. Just before you leave, fire a full battery. Target anything, except that AWACS. After all, they have three Terran Turret#Weaks, and we don't want to make them mad...

Random lieutenant #703: Yes sir! Targetting all vessels. Powering all Electrobeam™ batteries and torpedo launchers. Should we activate the Conversion Matrix™?

Styxx: Yeah, yeah. It's not like it'll blow up anyway...

Random lieutenant #703: Okay sir, firing now. Engaging subspace drive - we'll leave absolutely no trace of jump...

* A massive burst of Electrobeam™ power erupts from the massive vessel, scorching everything on it's path - including an unsuspecting GOU whose AI was too busy laughing off the fate of the Mega Maid™ to notice anything... *

Styxx: Well, time to get some sleep now. I'll see how this ends tomorrow...

------------------------
Later people, I'm off for today...

[This message has been edited by Styxx (edited 06-11-2001).]

[Shrike]

bzzzzzzzt!

That tickled!  Hey, come back here, dammit!

Let's leave those Co-Fee loving freaks behind.  We can pester them tomorrow.

Yeah, there's a supernova over Capella way, let's go watch.

[Ace]

Aboard the GVJ Obeid
Ensign#3,251: Sir, the tertiary pulse weapons impacted the Apocalypse's hull, it's exploded!

Admiral Heiksu: Ensign, that was a sub-space jump after it fired the conversion matrix.

Ensign#3,251: Ohh... well... alright...

Admiral Heiksu: We're going to follow that ship, engage Knossos projector and prepare all hands to jump stations.

Ensign#3,251: What about the AWACS?

Admiral Heiksu: I'll leave Talstavi and Minok to deal with that...

Aboard GTF Apollo class space superiority fighter

Julia Talstavi: Terran coffee is not inferior! Setekh can prove that!

Tah-Minok: BLASPHEMY.

------------------
Ace
Staff member FreeSpace Watch
 http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/

[Setekh]

Aboard the GVA Setekh

Vasudan #23: Sir, the Apocalypse triggered off a huge Electrobeam™ barrage and destroyed or severely damaged all ships in the area. Except us. I think they had ph33r for our Terran Turret#weaks.

Setekh: And so they should. Radar?

Vasudan #24: All surviving vessels are leaving the area, sir.

Setekh: Excellent. A truly honourable engagement; battle without unnecessary bloodshed. Khonsu II would be proud.

Vasudan #23: Uhh, sir, I hate to interrupt you, but there's an incoming message. It's a Borg cube, sir.

Setekh: Oh dear... what do they want?

Vasudan #23: They, uhhh... want directions to the SI Aracnas McBobs - they're mumbling something about payment, drive thrus, and Headz specials.

Setekh: What!! Oh dear... well, this an excuse to use one of Bosch's cool quotes...

Vasudan #24: It is my understanding that all true Vasudans have a deep hate for Bosch and all things related.

Setekh: Yeh, well - it sounds cool, anyway. Vasudans #1-24, salute as we leave the honourable battleground!

Vasudans #1-24: *salute*

Setekh: Here we go...

 

Helm... engage subspace drive.

-----------------------

Hell of a ride, guys!  

[Shrike]

*The EDust Assassin maskerading as Vasudan #24 smilled to itself as the GVA Setekh entered subspace*

[Snipes]

Should I?

hehe
-------------------------

*Watches from within GTVDn Bastion in subspace*

*GVA Setekh enters*

"Hail the thing with the blue stuff!"

 

[Starwing]

Somewhere outside the battlefield:

Eternity holds position, it's quantum drives disabled. A lonely guy sits in the command chair and looks at the action around.

Computer, what is going on there?

Computer: They are shooting at each other without noticeable reason.

Can we stop them from doing so?

Computer: No. There are too many of them to cover them all.

Okay... Let's stay at this position until the show's over. We will surely find some nice debris, probably a beam cannon or two that we can take home.