[Mika]

I think Suongadon is a she. The profile says so anyway.

Ah, that's good to know, but this fact doesn't change my interpretation of HER message. Consider it just a missing 's' in that sentence 

EDIT:
Not to mention that my language is gender neutral to begin with.

[Phantom Hoover]

Consider how the colors will go with your tie/shirt/eyes while you are holding them.

If you consider this at all, you should probably consider it in relation to the person who's going to have the flowers longest.

Now, I love me some impossible dating standards like all members of the Great and Most Holy Gynocracy must, but how are you supposed to match flowers to someone's clothes when you don't know what they are wearing?

also: KFC-> flowers. How and why?

uh you just said eyes were an appropriate candidate for matching as well (ofc. depending on where you live this may reduce your options to 'dead flowers')

and now that i think of it your other options are basically blue flowers and, uh, leaves (maybe roses if you're dating certain albinos)

[Scourge of Ages]

I've never seen a fake flower or plant that can compare to a real one. The real thing always, always feels and smells better.

I thought they were given as gifts just because they look and smell nice. Sure, they're technically dying, but while they're alive they just look and smell nice. I do prefer living, potted plants though.

[Suongadon]

uh you just said eyes were an appropriate candidate for matching as well (ofc. depending on where you live this may reduce your options to 'dead flowers')

and now that i think of it your other options are basically blue flowers and, uh, leaves (maybe roses if you're dating certain albinos)

Or an alcoholic. 


Ok. Eyes are a bad matching candidate then.

[Mika]

Maybe it is so that I was subjected to higher than normal levels of testosterone in the womb (check it out yourself what that does), or possibly it is the last remaining spec of the alpha male stuff that's in there, but I really don't see flowers = nice. I basically have to rip off several flowers and their offspring from the ground, mutilate them with a knife and then the result is somehow nice. No, I just can't see myself being nice when doing that, or asking somebody to do that for me (that is to say, buy a bouquet from a shop).

Moreover it maybe just me, but I can't escape the feeling that this thought has actually crossed several other men before, and then it becomes even more weird: for me the flower is then a necessary device to improve the odds of getting laid (but it is not the defining factor though). I would sort of understand all this better if I were asked to bring the head of her enemy, or his whatever possessions, but maiming or killing a flower does indeed puzzle me. Is it for showing that I'm sensitive, but that's sort of weird because bringing it in the first place shows that I'm not really - and for two different reasons. If it is to prove any kind of evolutionary prowess, the flower doesn't offer much of a challenge.

I would much prefer to take women to a garden where the good smell is even more profound, and there's more of those flowers to begin with.

Maybe they should add some kind of sticker warning to the thread suggesting that you'll never look the flowers the same after reading this?

EDIT:

The geniousness of this dawned to me unnaturally slowly:

uh you just said eyes were an appropriate candidate for matching as well (ofc. depending on where you live this may reduce your options to 'dead flowers')

and now that i think of it your other options are basically blue flowers and, uh, leaves (maybe roses if you're dating certain albinos)

A round of applause, this is a perfect logical conclusion, not to mention, surprisingly funny! 

[NGTM-1R]

Now, I love me some impossible dating standards like all members of the Great and Most Holy Gynocracy must, but how are you supposed to match flowers to someone's clothes when you don't know what they are wearing?

Hopefully you've seen them earlier in the day and/or know what colors they like to wear. Failing that, eyes.

[bobbtmann]

A bouquet of flowers are amemento mori. Watching them slowly fade reminds the recipient that she'll someday die, and she should have sex now while she still can.

[Phantom Hoover]

Now, I love me some impossible dating standards like all members of the Great and Most Holy Gynocracy must, but how are you supposed to match flowers to someone's clothes when you don't know what they are wearing?

Hopefully you've seen them earlier in the day and/or know what colors they like to wear. Failing that, eyes.

is it not customary to 'dress up' before dates etc., also we have been over the reasons eyes are an unacceptable target for colour matching

FURTHER COMPLICATIONS: what if flower recipient is wearing black/green/colour out of space so you can't get matching flowers, what if there is a flower shortage and you can't get the right colour, what if recipient is wearing some sort of colour-changing fabric, what if certain colours become illegal during date

[Suongadon]

Now, I love me some impossible dating standards like all members of the Great and Most Holy Gynocracy must, but how are you supposed to match flowers to someone's clothes when you don't know what they are wearing?

Hopefully you've seen them earlier in the day and/or know what colors they like to wear. Failing that, eyes.

Ok. So it all works out and you pick matching colors and now I have a bouquet of flowers in a vase on my table that went perfectly with my shoes. Whenever I see them, I'll be thinking of how beautiful my shoes are, rather than you. When they go with what you were wearing, then I'll think of you when I see them, so, more dates.

*shoes/dress/eyes/whatever, I don't think there's a difference here.

[MP-Ryan]

How many of the "I don't like to buy real flowers / fake flowers are better / buying flowers to watch them die is weird" can say 3 or more of the following apply to them:

a) Married.
b) In a serious, long-term relationship.
c) Have purchased flowers for a woman they are romantically involved with
d) Have any desire whatsoever to make the woman described in a, b, or c particularly happy and impressed with them for at least a few seconds.

Yeah, that's what I thought.




Forget the BS arguments.  Buy her the damn flowers (if she likes flowers).  Plant a seed somewhere to make up for it.  You'll thank me for it in the long run.  Trust me when I say:  no matter how good things are going with a woman, if she's into flowers then buying her flowers will universally improve on the situation.

I buy my wife flowers for no particular reason (which for her is better than if I had a specific reason) once every 8 to 18 months, and she loves it.

[NGTM-1R]

When they go with what you were wearing, then I'll think of you when I see them, so, more dates.

Or you could actually be impressed with how thoughtful I was, so more dates, but I suppose that's asking a bit much.

...at least of anyone who's not Alessia. (You do realize you're talking to one of the members of the board who's actually married, right?)

[Phantom Hoover]

depending on the circumstances she might take legal actions to prevent your covert surveillance of her colour preferences

[Lorric]

Plant, I shall smite you, and present your heads to my lady.

When they go with what you were wearing, then I'll think of you when I see them, so, more dates.

Strange associations to me.

[Phantom Hoover]

ok seriously can we lay it off with the vulcan wannabe 'i don't understand symbolic gestures they're so stupid we should really just indicate affection with little numbered cards' ****

[Mika]

How many of the "I don't like to buy real flowers / fake flowers are better / buying flowers to watch them die is weird" can say 3 or more of the following apply to them:

a) Married.
b) In a serious, long-term relationship.
c) Have purchased flowers for a woman they are romantically involved with
d) Have any desire whatsoever to make the woman described in a, b, or c particularly happy and impressed with them for at least a few seconds.

Yeah, that's what I thought.




Forget the BS arguments.  Buy her the damn flowers (if she likes flowers).  Plant a seed somewhere to make up for it.  You'll thank me for it in the long run.  Trust me when I say:  no matter how good things are going with a woman, if she's into flowers then buying her flowers will universally improve on the situation.

I buy my wife flowers for no particular reason (which for her is better than if I had a specific reason) once every 8 to 18 months, and she loves it.

That's the thing. I just don't do stuff for no apparent reason. If I started being more impulsive, god knows where I'd end up. I do recall hearing that most of the stuff I talk about goes too deep from a girlfriend of a certain friend in China, and it's not the only time I've heard it, so that probably is true. What is also true is that my mind is built like it. I cannot help it. I tend to see this whole thing as a social game where relationships between people are established. And I really don't like to be a pawn if I'm also supposed to be in a relationship.

I think I have explained the process of getting the flowers and what I see of them for a one woman after giving her one. You can guess the results 

The only flower I have here on my house is a rose and I got that as a graduation present from relatives. It's made of steel. I find it somehow fitting.

EDIT:

ok seriously can we lay it off with the vulcan wannabe 'i don't understand symbolic gestures they're so stupid we should really just indicate affection with little numbered cards' ****

Actually, that sounds like a great idea! Symbolic gestures are just that, symbolic and everyone will see them differently. You saw what it symbolizes to me if I give a bouquet of flowers to someone.

[Nuke]

i took a lesson from my cats, and give women rodent and bird heads.

if the girl thinks thats awesome, i found the right girl.

in my experience getting laid is more about being in the right place at the right time with the wrong woman.

[deathfun]

Flowers will never come close to a bottle of wine
Get women wine. Women love wine
Afterall...
You can't spell wine without "win"

[Mongoose]

Wine sucks, though.

[Black Wolf]

How many of the "I don't like to buy real flowers / fake flowers are better / buying flowers to watch them die is weird" can say 3 or more of the following apply to them:

a) Married.
b) In a serious, long-term relationship.
c) Have purchased flowers for a woman they are romantically involved with
d) Have any desire whatsoever to make the woman described in a, b, or c particularly happy and impressed with them for at least a few seconds.

Yeah, that's what I thought.




Forget the BS arguments.  Buy her the damn flowers (if she likes flowers).  Plant a seed somewhere to make up for it.  You'll thank me for it in the long run.  Trust me when I say:  no matter how good things are going with a woman, if she's into flowers then buying her flowers will universally improve on the situation.

I buy my wife flowers for no particular reason (which for her is better than if I had a specific reason) once every 8 to 18 months, and she loves it.

This. Plus, WRT fake flowers, I've been specifically told to avoid them as they collect dust something crazy and represent work over the long run. Plus they get boring. Plus they don't smell nice.

Ultimately, as the gift giver, what you think of the flowers custom is utterly, utterly irrelevant. It's also not an "Alpha male" thing (WTF? Seriously?) or anything like that. If the girl likes flowers, give her bloody flowers. If she doesn't, then don't. Simple.

[EDIT]Wine is only a good idea, if both you and she like it and you can drink it then and there. Otherwise, back to flowers.

[Phantom Hoover]

by this point i've learnt to dismiss anyone who doesn't write 'alpha male' in quotes or tildes as a total idiot